Everyone talks about being objective.  Obviously, the best way to go is perfect objectivity, but is this achievable?  And would you truly know if you are or are not objective?  Instead, if you can think critically and avoid certain habits of overly subjective thinking, most often things will go right for you.

Avoid acting negatively subjective assumptions

“My boss didn’t say hello to me today.  I must be getting fired tomorrow.”

This obviously is ridiculous, but depending on a person, such illogical assumptions creep in in the mind in many different forms.  One is going to see signs that may end up connecting to the assumptions, and also many that don’t.

It actually doesn’t matter whether these assumptions turn out to be true or not.  If it has been determined that I am going to be fired, there is not that much I can do to change it other than work hard and effectively.  Conversely, if the assumption is wrong, whether or not I get fired in the future only depends on if I work hard and effectively so my actions are the same.  The only thing that can make matters worse either case is behaving in a way that would induce a higher likelihood of being fired, like freezing up in situations due to fear or be so concerned instead of working hard and getting results, you decide to sweet-talk your boss instead.

Allow yourself to think through a few more possibilities for each situation

“The cookies are gone!”

There can be many reasons for anything to happen:

1.The cookies are gone because Steven stole them.

2.The cookies are gone because Pat stole them.

3.The cookies are gone because Sam rearranged everything.

4.The cookies are gone because you thought it is supposed to be on the kitchen counter but really you placed it in the cabinet.

5.The cookies are gone because you forgot you finished it.

6.The cookies are gone because you only dreamt that you have it.

Any of the above can be a reason.  Often at first glance, one does not know what truly happened.  To be objective is to truly explore various possibilities and not jump to conclusions.

Understand yourself and understand others

The brain works by piecing together information based on the history of experience.  Conclusions are drawn often by how one perceives the information and to fill in any blanks, the first tendency, unless well trained not to do so, is to base on the subjective emotion and evaluation.

For example:  ”I always don’t have enough time to manage my subordinates.  This guy just had a problem with his work, he must have done it to cause more trouble for me so that I cannot spend the time to properly manage everything.”

This is making an assumption based on my emotion.  I feel the pressure of not being able to manage all aspects of my work.  Instead of looking at the problem which may or may not be legitimate, I decided to assume that my guy is undermining me.  It is very easy to be drawn by various forces in the human emotions.  It takes effort and time to truly understand yourself and understand others.  It’s important that when trying to understand, one must be open to the information.  Only then you can truly understand the tendencies of yourself as well as others to draw good conclusions.

 

With love,

Cecilia Or

Always Remember Why Inc.

Always Remember W.H.Y.

Be Well, Be Happy, Be You