As mentioned in my previous article, there are certain bad habits that are more toxic than the others. These 8 bad habits can ruin happiness, changing smart talents into average people.
If You Haven’t Read the Part 1 of this Article, please Click Here to Read the First 4 Toxic Habits.
Here are the other 4 toxic habits:
(5) Hating on Failure
Life is seldom the same as what our expectations. Most of us have faces failures. I am not saying that I don’t feel like a punch in the stomach when I face a rejection. After putting in our efforts, it’s usually not easy to take the setbacks.
But when I look back to all the failures in the past, I usually learn something new. It’s a matter of how long it takes for me to get over the bitter taste and start to objectively look at the mistakes. Just like what Thomas A. Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Unlike what most people think, it doesn’t make you look less smart because of your failures. Believe it or not, those truly smart talents always face failures, because they tend to be more willing to try something different. What separates the true smart individuals from the others are their ability to learn from the failures and their willingness to make the comeback.
Learn to change your perspective on failures. Whenever you fall down, remind yourself that failure is often a perfect opportunity to grow. Yet I am not asking you to turn into a robot. Feeling upset or fear is normal when you first face the failure. Just don’t be too hard on yourself.
(6) Criticizing Everything
Actually, I am not referring the people that complain their lives and their works all the time, but that’s a toxic habit as well.
I am talking about the people that try too hard to show off their knowledge and their smartness. Sometimes, the smart individual is too eager to let the world know how smart they are. They criticize everything happening in their lives. It’s like a non-stop critics on the radio…
In the beginning, their actions may look smart. But how do you feel if that criticism continues on and on? Of course, it’s great to raise your honest opinions. Don’t mix that up with this category. In general, this is associated with the insecure feeling. They worry people not seeing their talents, and thus, trying to impress people with their non-stop criticisms. Don’t underestimate yourself. You also don’t need anyone’s approval to be classified as a smart person. Use your smartness towards your passion.
(7) Indulging in Toxic Relationships
This is a painful harsh truth, but some relationship just can no longer be fixed. It’s easier to say than do. When we are in the toxic relationships, it’s never easy to get out. But the more you try, the more painful you become.
Sometimes, smart people believe that they could use their cleverness to make things change and make this person change. It’s really not easy to accept the truth – Of course, they are not willing to accept the failure of their efforts. It’s as if showing the world that they are not smart enough…
Don’t let the misconception block you. Getting into a toxic relationship doesn’t indicate you are not smart. But refusing to believe it’s time to move on shows otherwise. Move on, and learn from the previous toxic relationship.
Remember that it’s nothing wrong to drop into a hole if you don’t know it exists. Yet staying stuck and refusing to get out, on the other hand, is just your failure in decision-making and your inability in accepting the truth.
(8) Pretending as if Everything is Okay When It’s Not
It’s a common drill for many people, and it can be because of many different reasons. For smart people, sometimes, because of self-esteem and insecurity, they want to pretend as if everything is okay when it’s not. Maybe they worry that the others will think they are not smart enough. Maybe they feel that the others are highly dependent on them, and therefore, don’t want to disappoint them. Maybe they are not used to express their feelings.
Nevertheless, it’s time to learn to end this toxic habit before you drop into the average people category. This may not seem to be a big problem. But it’s so energy-draining and mind-defeating that you will eventually crumble into an invisible cage. The pressure and fear will start eating you up. You may feel that no one understand you. But that’s true though. You have been shielding everything from everyone. It’s unsurprising that they don’t show the corresponding care for you.
Stop this cascade effect from going on. It’s always a good time to break this cycle. Smart people are human beings too. It’s normal that you don’t feel everything is okay from time to time.
As you may notice, all these toxic habits are mostly a matter of the mindset. Smart talents sometimes put too much pressure on themselves. Remember that insecurity is mostly created by your mind. This insecurity generates lots of negative feelings inside your mind. The more you try to avoid showing your fear, the more you become trapped by your fear. Use your smart brain smartly in your life and help the others. True leaders lift the others up, not push the others down.
Learn to believe in yourself a bit more. Be Well; Be Happy; Be You. Always pay attention when you notice yourself repeatedly doing certain negative behaviours. Don’t let these behaviours turn into these 8 toxic habits.
Just like what I said in the beginning… “No one is perfect. We are all mistakes.” But it’s a matter of how you respond to these mistakes that truly separate you the smart talent from an average person.
With love,
Cecilia Or
Always Remember W.H.Y.
Be Well, Be Happy, Be You
