When we were still 5 years old, we used to wish to get some responsible duties. It brought us a moment of excitement because this made us feel that we received the trust and the approval. It showed that we were doing well and could handle the extra duties. But when we grow older and older, the burden of responsibility seems to take over.
What comes to your mind when you think about the word “Responsibility”? Do you see it as a Burden or a symbol of Empowerment?
Have you felt very overwhelmed from your responsibility because of your culture or the society? Many of us probably have continuously heard of the responsibility of doing well at school, getting a high-paid job, taking care of your new family and raising a kid.
But let’s take a step back, and look at the word…
Responsibility = Response-Ability
It’s your ability to respond to each situation. It is an opportunity that you can change something that makes you smile and someone else may also potentially be beneficial from what you have done. This is not just the BIG word that’s scary that heavily weighs on your shoulders.
You don’t need to be the same as everyone else. And you can choose your response. Yes, you always have the power to do so!
For example, we tended to react to anger with anger. But what if we did it differently? What if we use our response-ability to do what we believed to be better for us at the end? Is this really the selfish action?
Think differently. You don’t need to use the default reactions. Choose your response. It is not going to be easy. Even till now, I am still struggling, but try to choose your response and your reaction wisely. Remember, don’t let others influence your response. What is good about getting on a nonstop anger-anger cascade reaction? And it’s not only about someone making you angry. Maybe there’s also about some unexpected bad events. Maybe it’s a simple misunderstanding. If you have decided to ask why he was angry first, it might have saved you from destroying your good mood, and maybe you would also help him to get out of a bad day, and the positive effect might continue to spiral to the other people you might meet afterwards.
Never underestimate about each task you do. You may not directly help someone or create a new trend. But when you decide to look at responsibility as a way of you would choose to respond in each scenario, your responsibility will transform from a burden to empowerment and you can fulfil your satisfaction.
For example, when our parents yelled at us, we got very upset and did the “order” with anger. But what if you decided to let them know your thought, and also asked them why they felt that you should be following the “order”. Maybe they didn’t take your idea at the moment, but this would help them understand your thought, and most importantly, you would feel better with less anger, because you shared your point of views with them. Maybe after you heard their reasons, you would realize they ordered you to do certain duty only out of their worries. This effect would also spiral to long run, and improve the communication among the whole family.
Try to embrace this response-ability. It’s not only for life events. Start with working your way through the day-to-day event. The more you choose your desired response to each situation, the more your ability will develop; and your response-ability will keep improving. Don’t worry if you make a mistake. You will always learn from your mistake because you choose your response.
Now after you start to grasp the true meaning of “Responsibility”, how do you feel? Do you feel the overwhelming burden start to diminish? Maybe soon, you will start to enjoy the power to show your response and love to take on more responsibilities.
Don’t let the BIG word scare you again! Just be yourself, and work on your ability to respond.
With love,
Cecilia Or
Always Remember W.H.Y.
Be Well, Be Happy, Be You
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